ON THE ROAD AGAIN.

ON THE ROAD AGAIN.

Today I sit in GRATITUDE for MY LIFE.

I have been blessed with GOOD FRIENDS, FAMILY & HEALTH.

This time in Isolation and Social Distancing has given me/ us plenty of time to GO INWARD.

During these Chaotic times which we collectively as humans on this planet are not only witnessing but are unfortunately a part of, has really made me aware of how FRAGILE & SHORT our LIFE IS.

In the big scheme of things we are only here for a minute.

I have been sheltering now for the past 60 DAYS. INSANE.

This Friday 5/15/20 the STAY AT HOME ORDER IS BEING LIFTED HERE IN CALIFORNIA.

READY, SET, GO.

I will be packing up my car and getting back on the road. EXPLORING & LIVING LIFE.

These are anxiety ridden times for so many, including MYSELF.

Through witnessing all of the INSANITY, I have decided the healthiest thing for me and I can only speak for myself is to get out there and to begin to live life again.

If we do not THEY/IT WINS.

We are in the middle of a GLOBAL TERRORIST ATTACK.  UNCERTAIN TIMES FILLED WITH LOSS/DEATH AND FEAR.

By succumbing to the FEAR, THEY/IT WINS.

My belief is whatever is going to happen in life is going to happen.

WE ARE UP AGAINST THE UNKNOWN.

Thinking about what I just typed. We are up against the unknown EVERYDAY.

Everyday there are a number of people throughout the world who begin their day with intentions and drive and never make it through the day for any number of reasons.

I believe that our time here on this earth is limited and an EXPIRATION DATE already EXISTS.

WE MUST NOT LIVE IN FEAR.

I wish us all well as we move though this mine field called LIFE. My heart goes out to all who have been lost.
These time are INSANE.
On top of the craziness happening with the Corona Virus, I had three coworkers die as well. SUICIDE, DRUG OVERDOSE,HEART ATTACK.

Jamie,Tyrone and Mario REST WELL.

I attended my first YOUTUBE wake and funeral.  BEYOND SURREAL.
 I say a Hollywood scriptwriter could not write what is going on in the WORLD.

Our lives are forever altered. I hope the change that happens through this tragedy is that we all come out the other
side as more loving beings. THAT IS IT.

ALL MY LOVE.  LIVE WITHOUT  FEAR.

BE SMART. STAY SAFE. THINK OF MORE THAN JUST YOURSELF. KNOW THE FACTS.

THE NUMBERS AS OF 5/10/20

WORLD CASES
4,097,158-3,560,911 = 536,247 NEW CASES IN ONE WEEK

DEATHS
282,495-248,024 = 34,471

USA CASES
1,362,715-1,154,340=208,375

DEATHS
80,562-68,089= 12,473

AGAIN THESE NUMBERS REPRESENT HUMAN LIFE AND A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF PAIN FOR THEIR LOVED ONES.


HOPING & TRUSTING THE END IS NEAR.

THE ROAD IS CALLING. LIFE IS CALLING. ANSWER THE CALL.

MUCH LOVE.

LIFE ON PAUSE

LIFE ON PAUSE.

Today is May 3, 2020.

It is four days from my entrance into the WORLD.

54 years I have been on this journey called LIFE. What a ride it has been.

Each and every year I try to be in a DIFFERENT  part of the World having new experiences, seeing new locations and meeting new people.

This year is no different. This year is one for the books.  I will be celebrating and reflecting in ISOLATION.

Thankfully I have been weathering these CRAZY TIMES with a buddy in Northern California.
There has been no shortage of LAUGHTER.

The COUNTRY/GLOBE has been pretty much closed down since early March due to COVID-19 CORONAVIRUS.

It has been interesting and trying times the past couple of months.

The country/world SLOWLY began to shut down operations. I like MILLIONS & MILLIONS of people have been affected by the SHUTDOWN.

I personally lost my job and place to live. TOURISM took a HUGE HIT.

Since the pandemic began I had to pack up my cabin and vacate. I started a new journey on the road to the UNKOWN.

I headed to Las Vegas for a few days to land and figure out what was NEXT.  From Las Vegas I headed to Oakland to stay with my friend Aaron.

 Currently I am SHELTERED IN PLACE with friends in Patterson, California.

I am filled with GRATITUDE for Tomas and his sister opening their home to me

My ANXIETY which I have never suffered has increased tremendously over the past few weeks. so much so that I have decided to give EDIBLES a try.  The anxiety is mainly because I do not have a set of KEYS that can be placed into a lock, MY LOCK to enter my own HOME.

STRESSFUL.

FLEXIBILITY IS KEY.
We must be open to not have everything be OK. But yet TRUST that it will be OK.

I have always said that once we step outside, we enter an unsafe space where we are at the mercy of what is out in the WORLD.

My God does this hold true today.

THE UNCERTAINTY CONTINUES, THE NUMBERS RISE, THE RESTLESSNESS CONTINUES.

IS IT SAFE TO GO OUTSIDE?
IS IT SAFE TO OPEN UP, OR ARE WE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE?

WE JUST DON'T KNOW.   TIME WILL TELL.

Today there will be people throughout the world whose FINAL DAY unbeknownst to them will be TODAY.

HEART ATTACK, STROKE, CANCER, CHILDHOOD ILLNESS, CAR ACCIDENT, MURDER, SUICIDE, AIDS, COVID-19

ANY ONE OF THESE MAY END OUR TIME ON THIS LEG OF OUR JOURNEY.

WE MUST NOT BE AFRAID. WE MUST LIVE. WE MUST BE RESPONSIBLE, BUT WE MUST LIVE.

I HOPE WE ALL COME THROUGH THIS TIME AND WE HAVE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF WHY WE ARE HERE, AND OUR PURPOSE ON THIS EARTH.

MY LOVE TO ALL OF YOU.

TO OUR ESSENTIAL WORKERS AND FRONT LINE WORKERS. YOU ARE OUR MODERN DAY HEROS.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE.

THE NUMBERS THIS WEEK.

CASES WORLDWIDE
3,560,911 INCREASE 592,284 IN ONE WEEK
248,024.   INCREASE   41,622 IN ONE WEEK

CASES USA
1,154,340 INCREASE  189,403 IN ONE WEEK
68,089.     INCREASE   13,248  IN ONE WEEK

THESE NUMBERS AGAIN REFLECT HUMAN LIVES AND FAMILIES SUFFERING.

WE NEED TO STEP BACK AND THINK BEYOND HOW IS THIS AFFECTING JUST OURSELVES.

WE ARE BETTER THAN ALL OF THE SELFISHNESS HAPPENING OUT THERE.

THESE ARE DARK TIMES. WITHOUT DARKNESS THERE CAN NOT BE LIGHT.
BRIGHTER DAYS ARE AHEAD. WE MUST BELIEVE.

KEEPING IT REAL-THE NUMBERS

KEEPING IT REAL- THE NUMBERS

So we are closing out another week in the midst of COVID-19

During these trying times
 I am trying to make use of my time. I have decided to refocus on my blog. Wanting to be more consistent with my writing.  I have committed to a new blog post once a week.

Trying like so many of us from losing my mind. I have decided that I need to look at the time as a GIFT.

When am I ever going to have an extended paid vacation.  I KNOW THIS IS NOT A VACATION.

FOR SO MANY THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE.  MY HEART BREAKS AND I CRY TEARS FOR US ALL.

I am trying to find the SILVER LINING in all of this TRAGEDY.

I am filled with GRATITUDE that as of THIS MOMENT all of my friends, family and loved ones are SAFE.  I am very well aware this can all change at any TIME.

This morning I came across a post from Deepak Chopra:

The best use of imagination is CREATIVITY.
The worst use of imagination is ANXIETY.

VERY POWERFUL. I at this time am bouncing back and forth between the two.

What keeps me going and gives me life is TRAVELING  & MY PHOTOGRAPHY.

My traveling as you all know has come to a screeching halt. That is where my anxiety is kicking in.
My photography is also at this time very limited.
Both of these activities are what makes MY HEART BEAT.

I love to share my journey with you all. I look forward to being able to get out there and resume and adjust to whatever are NEW NORMAL is going to be.

In the mean time I will share my THOUGHTS & WORDS with you.

During these downtimes, I am working on a few creative projects which I hope to be able to share with you all at a later time.

In the midst of all of all of this. We are all given this TIME to work on SELF. There is an OPPORTUNITY for us all to come through this as BETTER HUMANS.

During this time we are seeing the EARTH REPAIR ITSELF.
By seeing this happen we also need to be aware of how we have damaged the EARTH.

We are also witnessing how much healthier the earth is without our participation. FOOD FOR THOUGHT.

I WISH YOU ALL TIME TO REFLECT AND REIMAGINE HOW WE WILL MOVE FORWARD AND SUPPORT AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER AND THIS AMAZING PLANET THAT WE SHARE.

In closing the LOSS that we are suffering is GUT WRENCHING. The numbers are going up by the hour.

In honor of the many lives that were, and will continue to be lost so we can remain and CONTINUE ON OUR JOURNEY WE NEED TO DO BETTER.

MUCH LOVE. LOOKING FORWARD TO HAPPIER TIMES.

The Numbers

WORLDWIDE

Cases         2,968,627         ONE WEEK INCREASE     658,055
Deaths           206,402.       ONE WEEK INCREASE.       47,711

USA

Cases.        964,937          ONE WEEK INCREASE.     224,949
Deaths.        54,851          ONE WEEK INCREASE.       15,913

THESE ARE NOT NUMBERS.
THESE ARE HUMAN LIVES  FAMILIES ARE SUFFERING/ LOVED ONES DEAD

These numbers are HUGH.

This is a time to THINK OF OTHERS.

OPEN YOUR HEARTS TO THE FACT OTHERS MAY BE HURTING AND SUFFERING MUCH MORE THAN YOU.

YOU ARE STILL ALIVE. ACCEPT & BE GRATEFUL FOR THAT GIFT.

Like flowers in springtime. This is a new beginning.

Deaths

HIGH ANXIETY

HIGH ANXIETY.

So I have lost count of the days as we are all STILL sheltered in place.

The death toll as well as the number of cases is on the rise.

The numbers as of last night which is seven days from my last post. JUST ONE WEEK.

Cases in the World. 2,310,572 up almost 500,000 Cases.

DEATHS 158,691 up from 100,000 World Wide That is 58,691 people in JUST ONE WEEK

Cases in the United States 739,988 up from 500,000 up almost 240,000 Cases

DEATHS 38,928 up from 20,000 up 18,928 in JUST ONE WEEK.

These numbers are not very promising.  Actually quite scary.

Currently we have not even tested 2% of the population. These numbers are ridiculous.

The SQUATTER in the White House is talking about reopening the country.   We in no way are in a position to REOPEN.

We are dealing with a virus which has shut down the World. Cases are on the RISE.

I can not believe that this SLIMY USED CAR SALESMEN is who is the one in charge at this crucial moment in WORLD HISTORY.

It is an absolute joke and terrifying at the same time...........I keep hoping somewhere ASHTON KUTCHER is going to appear and say AMERICA YOU HAVE BEEN PUNKED.

If only that were the case.

My anxiety level is through the roof.  The crazy thing is I don't even suffer or never have suffered anxiety. 

This COVID-19 IS VERY SERIOUS.

I am less afraid of the virus. My ANXIETY IS BEING CAUSED BY THE IGNORANT AND IDIOTIC PEOPLE that I have to share space with and breathe the same air as.


FRIENDS AND FAMILY INCLUDED.

FUCK FOX NEWS.
PEOPLE NEED TO WAKE UP.

I feel like I am living in an alternate universe.

People have been brainwashed. I cant believe people are denying science. Not taking the advise of the medical professionals.

I have said it before a Hollywood script writer could not write this tragedy that we have been living through the past almost four years.

I am trying to remain hopeful. But it is getting harder and harder by the day when I see the news and I am on social media and see the hateful people that walk on this planet spewing hate.

MY HEART HURTS.

During this time of ISOLATION  & QUARANTINE I am trying to go within and REFLECT.

We need to come out of this on the other side and doing better than we have been doing.

These are growing pains that we are collectively going through. There is no way that we could come through this without growing. GROWTH AND CHANGE is essential for our survival in whatever will be our NEW NORMAL.

I HAD TO EXIT SOCIAL MEDIA AND GIVE MYSELF A BREAK AND TIME TO PROCESS WHAT IS HAPPENING AND TO BEGIN TO HEAL.

SOCIAL MEDIA FOR ME HAS BEEN TOXIC DURING THIS TIME.

I HOPE AND I PRAY FOR US TO BECOME BETTER VERSIONS OF OURSELVES THROUGH THIS TIME.  I PRAY FOR ALL OF US.

I HAVE A TREMENDOUS AMOUT OF GRATITUDE FOR ALL THOSE OUT THERE MAKING THESE TRYING TIMES  A BIT MORE TOLERABLE FOR ALL MAKING A DIFFERENCE.

Thank you.

A few mentions my friends CeCe Tsou, Tess Martin and Peter Russell

You are bright lights in these dark times.

Also want to send some love to Lady Gaga
Thank you for your kind and generous heart.

One World Together at Home
$127.9 Million Raised WHO /GLOBAL CITIZEN

SHELTER IN PLACE

SHELTER IN PLACE..........WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

COVID-19 has now KILLED over 100,000 People Worldwide and Over 20,000 people here in America.

CASES WORLDWIDE AS OF THIS ENTRY 1,777,515
CASES AMERICA AS OF THIS ENTRY  533,259

Pretty much everyone in the World is in SELF ISOLATION.

The orders out of Los Angeles county call for an extension til May 15TH TO STAY AT HOME.

Crazy, Crazy Times.

We as humans are SOCIAL CREATURES.

LIFE AS WE KNOW IT IS FOREVER CHANGED.

We are approaching 60 plus days that we are told to not leave our homes.

This is all so weird.

We are seeing images from around the globe of tourist destinations VOID OF PEOPLE.

No more more telling than NYC where on any given day is bustling with 9 million plus people.

The streets are EMPTY. The EPICENTER. My beautiful New York.

Usually this time of year as New Yorkers have come out of hibernation from a winters slumber the city is alive again.

Spring is in the air Central Park is magical. NOT THIS YEAR.

It is like the city has FLATLINED.   For so many this has become an unfortunate reality as NYC become the city in the world with the most confirmed cases.

NYC is such a vibrant and resilient city.. But what is taking place hurts my heart, along with watching this pandemic sweep the world.
 INFECTING & KILLING God knows how many  by the time we get a handle on this.

There was an article i read today that the POPE was quoted as saying
" MAYBE THIS IS GODS WAY TO CORRECT CLIMATE CHANGE."

Very thought provoking.  The earth is getting a chance to BREATHE & REJUVENATE.

There is beauty in tragedy and loss.

The air is visibly cleaner, which is ironic as people that are dying are literally choking to death.

Mother Earth is beginning to BREATHE AGAIN.

My heart goes out to everyone out there on the front lines.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Cases and deaths are increasing by the hour.  I am hoping for a quick resolve. Unfortunately I think we are at the beginning of what are new world is.

Winston Churchill was quote as saying " There are Beginnings and Endings, Maybe this is the BEGINNING OF THE END. "

I pray that it is.

MY HEART IS IN A TREMENDOUS AMOUT OF PAIN WATCHING THE WORLD SUFFER.

My thoughts are with all of those sick and suffering as well as all those family and loved ones lost during this crazy times.  I cant even image the horror both and your families are going through.

It is INSANE and TRAGIC that family members are fighting this fight ALONE. Many having to send their loved to the hospital to never see them again.

Saying their final goodbyes on ZOOM.

As I sit here typing this I CRY.

I MOURN THE LOSS OF EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU.

I TRUST THAT YOU WILL NOT HAVE DIED IN VAIN. TRUSTING COLLECTIVELY AS A WORLD WE WILL BE BETTER BECAUSE YOU WERE ALL IN IT.

BECAUSE OF YOU ALL THE WORLD MAKES A HUGE SHIFT AND BECOMES A MORE LOVING AND KIND WORLD.

If I myself live to witness this shift just know that I /WE will be forever indebted to all of you beautiful SOULS for being the ANGELS WHO CREATED THE NEW WORLD.

THANK YOU.  FLY FREE.

WE NEED TO LOVE AND TRUST THE LIGHT WILL SHINE AGAIN.

LIFE IN 2020

LIFE IN 2020.      

MASS HYSTERIA    COVID-19

So as we are being more affected by this Covid-19 Virus.

Things are getting VERY SERIOUS.

The virus is like the fires that were burning in Australia for so long.

COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL.

The numbers they are projecting for infection and deaths are STAGGERING

They are reporting up to 150 million infected with 500,00 plus deaths.   If this in fact is true that is like 1 in 3 AMERICANS.

AMERICANS ALONE.

As of today there are cases in 42 of the 50 states. I believe the cases worldwide is 110 countries.

This is INSANE.

Latest Stats.

ITALY COMPLETELY SHUTDOWN

AIR TRAVEL BETWEEN EUROPE AND UNITED STATES BANNED FOR 30 DAYS

NBC CANCELLED

SAINT PATRICKS DAY PARADES AROUND THE WORLD CANCELLED.

NYC FIRST TIME IN 258 YEARS

BROADWAY WENT DARK TONIGHT UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

IRELAND ON LOCKDOWN

DENMARK ON LOCKDOWN

COLLEGES AND SCHOOLS CLOSING DOWN FOR WEEKS. ALL CLASSES ONLINE.

TALK SHOWS TAPING WITH OUT AUDIENCES

NHL SEASON POSTPONED

BASEBALL SEASON POSTPONED

COACHELLA POSTPONED

SOUTH BY SOUTH WEST CANCELLED

GAY PRIDES BEING CANCELLED

WHITE PARTY BEING POSTPONED

TOM HANK & RITA WILSON TEST POSITIVE

JUSTIN TRUDEAU & WIFE TEST POSITIVE

STOCK MARKET IN A FREE FALL

Was in contact with a friend in Italy which has been one of the hardest hit countries.  They said this is much more serious than the US Government is letting on.

Hospitals can not keep up with the numbers of people in need of medical treatment.

Every country has been taking this very seriously and taking necessary precautions.

The ASSHOLE who has been SQUATTING in the WHITE HOUSE and FOX FUCKING NEWS has been saying it is all a HOAX.

Thankfully there are people out there that do not support or believe a single thing this FRAUD SAYS.

Because of that they are looking out for there fellow man and communities by taking necessary precautions.

PEOPLE WAKE UP.

We would not be dealing with this under any other presidents administration.   This administration has been an AGGRESSIVE CANCER ON THE US AND THE WORLD.

He has jeoperdized the US relations throughout the world because of his NARCISSISTIC  EGO.

Whoever is behind this is PURE EVIL. This did not just HAPPEN.

PEOPLE GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE SAND.

We are now at the beginning of what ever this is. It is being called a GLOBAL PANDEMIC.

The fallout will be HUGE.

It is getting UGLY & REAL.

PEOPLE ARE GOING CRAZY.

My take on it all. Taking into account the unpredictability and seriousness of it all.

WE CAN LET FEAR STOP US FROM LIVING.

911
AIDS.            Now COVID-19 or we can CHOSE TO LIVE.

I was speaking with a friend today, I said even with all of this GLOOM is no different than any other day.

Every day we wake up, we wake up to uncertainty. WE DO NOT KNOW.

Today here on the mountain was a gorgeous day. Driving into town I could have driven the car off the canyon due to a tire blowing out or me trying to avoid hitting a deer.  I could have chocked on my sweet potato fries while at lunch at Big Al's. I could have had a heart attack at the grocery store.

While writing this post I could have had a stroke. Perhaps I may die in my sleep tonight.

The one thing I KNOW is whatever is happening in the world right now is not going to stop me from LIVING LIFE.

I GET TO MAKE THE CHOICE & SO DO YOU.

DON'T LET FEAR STOP YOU FROM LIVING.

THAT IS WHAT THEY WANT.

We are seeing MASS HYSTERIA. To see it is INSANE.

LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE.........LOVE AND BE KIND.

Thoughts are with us ALL.

MUCH LOVE.

EVEN IS DARKNESS THERE IS LIGHT.

JUST LIVE

JUST LIVE.

Crazy things happening in the World at the moment.

The World is at the beginning of a health crisis, that has had a GLOBAL REACH.

Many people infected. Also a number of deaths reported.

Many countries are taking great precautions to limit the spread of the virus.

Japan has cancelled all schools for 4-5 weeks.

Venice cancelled Carnival.

Airlines are cancelling flights.

Possibility of the Olympics in Japan being cancelled if we don't get a handle on things SOON.

Cruise ships being turned away at port destinations.

Just today I read that schools are being cancelled in parts of Italy until further notice.

A HUGH PANIC CREATED WORLDWIDE.

It is INSANE to me how crazed people are getting. It has instilled GREAT FEAR.

MANY PEOPLE QUARANTINED.

People racing to stores to STOCKPILE SUPPLIES.

My thoughts on this whole ordeal. People are so FEARFUL OF DEATH.

Something we all must face, at some point in our lives.  The death of family, friends, pets, neighbors, strangers and eventually OUR own.

I believe people are so fearful of dying because they are not really living the lives they want to be living.

They are putting off living fully. VERY DANGEROUS THING TO DO.

Now they are running scared because they may not get the chance.

I am not saying what is happening in the World today is not something to be concerned about. IT IS.

We as a World have survived much on this journey. We will survive this as well.

PEOPLE JUST LIVE YOUR LIFE NOW. THAT SIMPLE.

JUST LIVE.

It is pointless in my opinion to FEAR DEATH.

I MYSELF AM MORE FEARFUL OF NOT FULLY LIVING.

WASH YOUR HANDS, STOP WORRYING, WHAT WILL BE WILL BE.

LIVE YOUR LIFE.

PEACE AND BLESSINGS

WAKE UP AND LIVE.........MAYBE THIS IS A WAKE UP CALL FOR US TO GET OUT OF OUR OWN WAY.

 SPEND TIME IN NATURE IT DOES A BODY GOOD.

THIS IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL. THIS IS YOUR LIFE.

REFLECTING ON LOSS

SLOW START.

REFLECTING ON LOSS

I closed out 2019 sick and went in 2020 sick.

It has been a ROUGH START to 2020.

2019 was a year of tremendous loss.
The year closed itself out with the loss of 13 friends and family members. I know in life there is loss. It is part of LIVING LIFE.

Of course the older we get it become more likely.  The loss of my friends and family were between the ages of 40-60.

That is young. They all had so much more life to live. Gifts to share.  A few were fighting and got to a point where they were unable to continue fighting.

Some were waging war with their bodies, other waging war with their minds. Some just wound up leaving with no warnings whatsoever.

CANCER, SUICIDE, STROKE, HEART ATTACK.

Do not even know how you go about processing so much loss. We just began the one year anniversaries of all of the loss.

What I believe I have learned through all of the loss is that we must accept the loss and in my belief that all those that have gone have completed their work here. Because of that they were able to move on to what is NEXT.

Those of us still here trying to navigate LIFE  are here because there are lessons that we still need to LEARN. Gifts we still have to SHARE.

I am not even sure that I have even properly mourned all of these beautiful people who have gone.

In honor of them all, I am working really hard on LIVING MY BEST LIFE.

So many of us merely EXIST. I don't want to just exist. We are not meant to just EXIST.

From all this loss I understand in the big scheme of things we are really only loaned the bodies that we are in for a very short period of time.  I have known this from a very young age but still have BLOCKED MY BLESSING through the years due to not feeling WORTHY, FEAR and SELF SABOTAGE

I HAVE WASTED so much of the time that I have been here already.

My goal moving forward is to honor not only my friends lost last year, but all those that have been lost weather I have personally known them or not.

 TO LIVE LIFE IN THE NOW. LIVE LIFE FULL OUT.

I sit here writing this entry on the 25th Anniversary of my grandmother Madeline Corinas  passing. She was fortunate to live to 89 years of age.

As she was preparing for her transition. She said," 89 years goes by really quick".

We as humans waste so much time giving energy to things that do not matter.

LIFE IS ABOUT LIVING JOYFULLY, BEING KIND AND HAVING A LOVING HEART.

Also LOVE YOURSELF.

In life there is darkness and light. Beauty can be found in both.

In life there will be OBSTACLES and STRUGGLES without a doubt. We get to choose how we RESPOND to these UPSETS.

Are CHOICE will make all the difference.

To all those that embarked on new journeys last year.
Thank you for allowing me to share space with you while we were both traveling here on Earth. I look froward to catching up with you all and sharing time and space wherever you all may be traveling  now.

I HOLD YOU ALL DEAR TO MY HEART.

PEACE & BLESSINGS

SIMPLY LUKE

LUKE

3.4. 2019

A shocking and sad day as yet another friend was called HOME.

SUDDENLY & without WARNING.

52 YEARS OLD. The cause. MASSIVE STROKE.

52 is my age. Actually I am six months older than LUKE.

As well wishes were coming in from around the world for a SPEEDY & COMPLETE RECOVERY, because at 52 one still has so much LIFE TO LIVE.

EVERYONE WAS HOLDING OUT HOPE.

Well a few days later on 3.4.2019 the news outlets broke the news that Luke was GONE.

GONE. What does that mean? It can not be possible. YET IT WAS.

My friend was GONE. This part of his story was complete.

I was blessed to call this man a FRIEND. Such a BEAUTIFUL HUMAN.

Luke was fortunate enough to have been a part of 90's POP CULTURE. Luke landed the role of DYLAN MCKAY which really put LUKE on the map as a bonafide CELEBRITY & HEARTTHROB.

Luke was grateful for his BLESSINGS, yet unaffected by his CELEBRITY.

He was a PRIVATE MAN living in a PUBLIC WORLD.

Those of us who had the good fortune of meeting and knowing LUKE were gifted with KINDNESS, LOVE,PRESENCE.

Luke was the REAL THING. A rarity in the INDUSTRY.

Like our mutual friend Cassie mentioned Luke was more comfortable and at home on a farm than on the RED CARPET.

He loved talking about REAL LIFE ISSUES.  LOVED HIS CHILDREN.

The past few days have been extremely upsetting hearing the news of Luke. Through tears and anger regarding Luke's loss, I smile as I read all of the messages of condolence coming in from EVERYONE.

Luke was loved by so many and will be missed by us ALL.

The common message coming in from AROUND THE WORLD was what A TRULY KIND & GENTLE SOUL LUKE WAS.

To the World most people new LUKE AS DYLAN MCKAY from BH 90210 or any of the other characters he has played.

 I was/am a LUKE PERRY FAN MYSELF.

I GOT TO BE FAN & FRIEND

Filled with GRATITUDE FOR HAVING KNOWN  YOU AND SHARED  GREAT CONVERSATION AND GOOD TIMES.

I WILL FOREVER REMEMBER THE CHRISTMAS WE WENT TO THE MOVIES AND DINNER.

LOVE YOU LUKE.

Thank you for sharing yourself with your fans, friends, family & ME.

I took these photos the day I learned the news that you embarked on a new journey. I want to believe this was you SOARING ONTO WHAT IS NEXT.

I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN MY FRIEND. THANK YOU. PEACE & FRIENDSHIP.

24

2/21/19

Makes 24.

24 years ago this week.

Specifically 2/21/95 God had a plan for you to depart on a very cold winter day to begin whatever comes next when one leaves their earthly form.

Losing you was devastating on the whole family. We loved you and wanted you to stay with us FOREVER.

Forever I have come to realize is for as long as a RELATIONSHIP or LIFE lasts.

Still to this day one of my favorite memories as difficult as it was to lose you. It was to be there with you as you made your transition.

One of the most beautiful things I have experienced and I will treasure that moment and be grateful until I am embark on my new journey whenever that time comes.

In death one can FIND BEAUTY.

Mom's house was filled with LOVE & FAMILY for three days as you were preparing to begin your NEW JOURNEY.

This month has been a month of LOSS.

Earlier this month while on a quick trip to LA.  I received the devastating news that a member  of the family decided to take his life.

Getting the news of Drews suicide was HEARTBREAKING.

The outpouring of love and support for Marisa in her time of unimaginable loss was a BEAUTIFUL yet very sad thing to be a part of and witness.

There really is truth to the saying "There is the family that we are BORN into and the family we CREATE.

The family of misfits that was CREATED from my time at Tom Bergin's and Los Angeles WAS & IS THE REAL DEAL.

These people are beautiful SOULS that have traveled along my journey with me. THANK YOU. Some are still with me on this journey and some no more.
But with age and time you come to realize that not everyone is meant to STAY.

Some are meant to COME & GO.

That is ok. Everyone that has been a part of my journey  I am grateful for all of you and every thing that I have experienced. GRATITUDE IS KEY.

I just read something on facebook. "Watching someone you love die is an image you NEVER forget."

This is something that I totally agree with.

Me getting to watch my grandmother die was SPECIAL & BEAUTIFUL.

My friends who witnessed their loved ones die and the circumstances that they died in NOT SO MUCH.  Although I do believe with time they will come to realize that being a part of the transition of their loved ones will be something they will come to CHERISH.

Death is something we will all experience when our time here is complete.

There is BEAUTY in death.
If you are a lover of nature to watch autumn turn to winter is a spectacular event to witness.


The end of one thing is the beginning of another. IN MY BELIEF.

The best piece of wisdom I can share with all of you including myself is that WE MUST LIVE OUR BEST LIVES. That is what we are meant to do.

For those no longer here, to honor their lives we need to LIVE FULL OUT.

I WISH ALL OF US LOVE & HEALING & KINDNESS AS WE CARRY ON.

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.

BUT WE HAVE THE POWER TO OVERCOME.

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. GO CREATE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY GRANDMOTHER WHO TOLD ME, "THE SUN DOES NOT SHINE EVERYDAY, BUT IT WILL COME OUT AGAIN."

WE NEED TO LOVE OURSELVES AND ONE ANOTHER. PEACE.

 BELIEVE AND TRUST.

REUNITED IN GRIEF

REUNITED IN GRIEF.

So I was just two weeks ago on an impromptu trip to LOS ANGELES.

Los Angeles has been my HOME for 23 consecutive years before I decided to exit in 2009 to embark on whatever was to be next.

JANUARY 28TH marked my 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY of stepping out from behind the bar at TOM BERGIN'S where I was a RESIDENT BARTENDER for almost 13 years.

The bar has since closed down. I thought it would be cool to fly out to LA and catch up with as many of my BERGIN'S FAMILY as possible during my trip.

Well I was REUNITED with FRIENDS & FAMILY, some who I have not seen since I left LA.

This reunion worked out  much different than I was hoping.

This reunion happened when I received a text at 6:22AM on 2/1/2019
"Words cannot express the sadness you have come home to. Call me when you get this."

Upon me waking up and seeing the text. I immediately phone my friend. I said to her, Who is dead?

Unfortunately I was correct in thinking someone had died. My friend delivered the news that our mutual friend decided that life was too much. Through his INCREDIBLE PAIN he reached out to friends and people were alarmed for his safety. After a FRANTIC SEARCH his partner and some friends found him. UNFORTUNATELY TOO LATE.

Our friend HUNG HIMSELF.

HANGING has become all too common. I have personally known 7 people in the last 18 plus months. Including my agent, and a childhood friend, whose son at 27 was battling ANXIETY & DEPRESSION.

I have also had 2 attempts with my sister.

MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES ARE REAL.  WE NEED TO TALK AND FEEL SAFE IN DOING SO.

Every family to some degree has these issues.  WE NEED TO LOOK FOR THE SIGNS.

A very SAD & TRAGIC time for OUR friends and family.  My heart breaks for his partner who he shared 22 plus years with. Me and my friends are very concerned for her as she mourns the loss of her SOULMATE.

She will now have to learn how to move on physically,spirtitually,financially and emotionally.
The road ahead of her is LONG.

PLEASE IF YOU ARE SUFFERING REACH OUT TO A FRIEND, FAMILY MEMBER, HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONAL, EVEN A STRANGER.

NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE 1-800-273-8255
24 HIURS A DAY/EVERYDAY

I wish her COMPLETE HEALING as she continues on her JOURNEY.  I know this will take time if not A LIFETIME.
I said to her if he was able to stay he would have.

DREW WAS LOVED BY MANY AND WILL SORELY BE MISSED BY MANY.
He was a FANTASTIC GUY and the LIFE OF THE PARTY who was always there to greet you with a HUG & HAPPY TO SEE YOU.

I have been in and out of LA over the past 10 years. But on my trips back they were always made better by seeing DREW &  MARISA.  LOVED DREW & LOVE YOU.

This weekend was a HORRIBLE WEEKEND. I am GRATEFUL I WAS IN TOWN AND WAS ABLE TO BE WITH EVERYONE DURING THIS TIME.  I LOVE YOU ALL. MY HEARTBREAKS FOR US ALL.

The very same weekend the SOAP OPERA WORLD lost one of their own when Kristoff St. John was found dead in his home on Sunday February 3, 2019 of a suspected suicide.  They say that Kristoff died of a broken heart never getting over the loss of his son who years earlier died of suicide.

I had the pleasure of meeting and working with Kristoff on my very first Soap Opera job.

HOPING BOTH DREW & KRISTOFF ARE ON A PAIN FREE NEW JOURNEY FILLED WITH PEACE & HAPPINESS. HOPING KRISTOFF IS REUNITED WITH HIS SON.

FLY FREE GUYS.