CHAPTER 1.

CHAPTER 1.

As I  get ready to finish out my  first chapter in my book titled Life in 2016.

So far it has not been a book that grabs you from the get go. I am TRUSTING that all will change.
It has begun with some OBSTACLES that I need to overcome in order for the year to really take off.

There will be many changes taking place and adventures in 2016.

I have decided that I want to wrap up life in Los Angeles. I have spent almost the last 30 years of my life here.

I am ready to see what else life has to offer.

This is a big year for me.

I AM TURNING 50. OUCH. NO REALLY. OUCH.

Actually if I am being completely HONEST.
I am slightly bothered by this number. The reason I am bothered by turning 50 is because according to others and me comparing myself to others I feel like I should be much more accomplished and have more in my life.

That is my own INSECURITIES.

The one thing that I am around turning 50 is GRATEFUL.  I have worked on and off in the AIDS INDUSTRY SINCE practically the BEGINNING of the AIDS EPIDEMIC seeing so many promising men and women who never were afforded the opportunity to reach their FULL POTENTIAL and to LIVE a long HEALTHY LIFE.

So because of all of this,  I have decided that it was time to explore and see what else is out there. I have spent 30 years in a place that I feel has offered so little.

I came here for the DREAM.

IT DID NOT HAPPEN. I had so small successes but does not really sustain a life.

I have decided that I THINK I will be much HAPPIER in a smaller market able to do what I do.

It is also much easier to just work if that is what must be done. It is very DIFFICULT working a SURVIVAL JOB here in Los Angeles when you come here for the DREAM.

It has really messed with my HEAD & LIFE.

So the WHEELS ARE IN MOTION for a mid-APRIL DEPARTURE.

First thing on the AGENDA is a ROADTRIP to Alaska and Hopefully WORK.

Stay tuned.

Time to answer the call. Want to make sure 2016 is a book worth READING.

REACH FOR THE STARS....THE SKY IS THE LIMIT.

THE FREEDOM TOWER. I AM SETTING MYSELF FREE TO SEEK OUT A BETTER LIFE FOR MYSELF. WE ALL DESERVE TO BE FREE. 

CLEAN SLATE

CLEAN SLATE.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016.

Here we are at the beginning of a NEW YEAR. which gives us the opportunity to ........

BEGIN AGAIN. START OVER. MAKE CHANGES.

We get to DESIGN the LIFE we WANT to LIVE.
We have the POWER.

It is actually not as difficult as we make it out to be.

We decide by the CHOICES that we make the way the year will play itself out.

If we WORK HARD,STAY FOCUSED on our GOALS, we really do have the POWER to MANIFEST the LIFE we WANT to LIVE.

Today is the beginning of a 365 day brand new JOURNEY OF 2016.

HOW WILL YOU BEGIN YOUR JOURNEY?

What will the journey look like DAY 1, WEEK 1, MONTH 1?

As the DESIGNERS of this BEAUTIFUL GIFT we are so BLESSED to be granted called LIFE.

WE GET TO DECIDE. THE CHOICE IS OURS.

Remove the FEAR of the unknown. Trust in your abilities.

WE are more POWERFUL than we realize.
As we move forward into 2016, Let's move in knowing we are able to CREATE the changes in our LIVES as well as the CHANGES needed in the WORLD.

WE CAN DELIVER. JUS DO THE RIGHT THING.

I wish all of you a BLESSED JOURNEY as we move forward.

THANK YOU.
2 OF THE MOST POWEFUL WORDS WE COULD EVER SPEAK.
It is all about GRATITUDE.

I APPRECIATE all of you for being a part of my life, and I THANK YOU fo all of the LESSONS LEARNED and those that I am still learning.

IT'S A WRAP

IT'S A WRAP.

WOW.

DAY 365

Another one for the history books.

Reflecting back on 2015 it was a year of STRUGGLE  & SUCCESS.

The struggle & loss in 2015 was REAL & HURT for me personally and for all of us globally.

I feel as though this year has flown by for the most part. I also feel like it has dragged ON & ON.

 The year was pretty uneventful and unsatisfying for me CREATIVELY.

I allowed myself to get SIDE TRACKED with a Survival job.

I am grateful for the job. But I allowed it to SUCK UP ALL OF MY ENERGY.

I was unable to balance working the survival job and than finding the energy to pursue my creative life.
 

No one to blame but ME.

I just gave up.

Los Angeles has never creatively inspired me. So I basically threw in the towel.

It made the year a very challenging one for me emotionally.

I was not living authentically. So I am very happy to move on from 2015 and enter 2016 with a plan to live the life that I want to live.

Again it comes down to CHOICES.

This year I played it SAFE.

I hope as we close out 2015 all of my friends and family who have faced struggle, hardship and loss. My wish for all of us is that we SAIL into 2016 with blessings of PEACE, JOY,HEALTH,ABUNDANCE,PROPERTY,LOVE & GRATITUDE.

Peace & Friendship

A new chapter begins tomorrow for ALL OF US.
 LET US GO CREATE A BEAUTIFUL NEW YEAR.

MANIFESTATION

OATH of MANIFESTATION.

I accept and receive unexpected GOOD, unexpected MONEY, unexpected LOVE, unexpected KINDNESS, unexpected GENEROSITY, unexpected OFFERS, unexpected PROSPERITY coming in unexpected ways from unexpected places in my LIFE and the LIFE of others.

I am constantly GUIDED, and boldly EMPOWERED to recieve THE LAVISH ABUNDANCE OF THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I accept the principle that abundance and prosperty have ALREADY BEEN GIVEN TO ME.

My ACCEPTANCE makes it real and OPENS the space for MANIFESTATION to rush in ! I open wide the doors of my CONSCIOUSNESS TO RECEIVE AND TO GIVE.

IT IS DONE NOW,

Throught this Oath of Manifestation ALL things are POSSIBLE!

I declare, absolutely trhat I live in a FRIENDLY UNIVERSE that is ALWAYS providing for me. I feel it powerfully happening NOW!

I open to receive more abundance, and give more abundance, than I have ever experienced before. I CAN AFFORD ANYTHING I DESIRE!

I am so PROSPEROUS i need NEVER worry again!

i AM grateful for ALL that I already have, and grateful for all that I am ready to give!

I keep myself in HIGH CONSCIOUSNESS, no matter what appearnace are!. GOD is ALL THERE IS.

And so IT IS.

CREDIT TO REV MICHAEL
This was a gift from Rev, Michael Bernard Beckwith form AGAPE INTERNATIONAL SPIRITUAL CENTER.

Do yourself a favor and checkout one of their services at www.agapelive.com

Many years ago I was introduced to Agape through a friend of mine Miguel Chenal.

I have always said that that special day shared with friends was a GIFT. Which I continue to give to myself.

I wanted to share this with all of you. Will all DESERVE & are WORTHY of MANIFESTING THE LIFE WE DREAM TO LIVE.

PEACE & BLESSINGS

HAPPY HOLIDAYS 2016   FOLLOW THE LIGHT & SHINE YOUR LIGHT.

END OF THE LINE.

NOVEMBER 15, 2015

Today the call came.

My mom called to let me know that my great Aunt Rita had passed away. We knew the call was coming. But yet even when it does it hurts.

For our family this was my grandmother who embarked on her new journey 20 years earlier's baby sister and the last of the aunts and uncles.

Aunt Rita was the final connection to my grandmother and my childhood and all the wonderful memories down at the old family house which has not been in our family for many years.

Aunt Rita was the best cook ever and was COOKING ALL THE TIME FOR EVERYONE.
My favorite was her Strawberry Shortcake which is still my favorite dessert.

She would lovingly make one for me whenever she knew I was going to back in town.

She thankfully shared her recipe with my mom who will now carry on with my dessert requests.

I was back home in October to visit with the family and was planning on going to visit her. I did not go and visit as mom said she had slipped into a state of not knowing anyone and was just not herself.

Mom would tell me everytime she would go to visit how heartbreaking it was. Mom would pray for God to reunite her with the rest of her family who she was estranged from for such a long tim

She wanted me to remember her as the FUNNY, WITTY & SASSY WOMAN SHE HAD BEEN FOR HER WHOLE LIFE. She could give BETTY WHITE who I adore a run for her money in the funny department.

AUNT RITA,

Thank you for being you and loving me and bringing much joy into my life and leaving me with so many wonderul memories.

Like Domenica said..........DANCE IN PEACE.

LOVE YOU AND WILL MISS YOU.

I am happy you are reunited with Gram and the rest of the family.  Carrying on, on this wonderful new journey you are beginning.

GIVE GRAM A BIG HUG AND KISS FOR ME.

REVISITING THE PAST

REVISITING THE PAST.

Sharing this bit of WORLD HISTORY.

I five weeks ago was home visiting family which I had not seen since returning to Los Angeles almost 2 1/2 years ago.

During my trip I wanted to get my NYC FIX.

I jumped on a bus in Albany heading to NYC.

PURPOSE????

Visit the 911 Memorial & Museum & Sharing this time and experience with my godson/nephew Jason who was just one year old when that HORRRIFIC DAY happened.

It was a very special day to be able to share and experience the feelings and emotions that the day revealed.

I am now sitting 2500 miles from GROUND ZERO as I sit here and cry as I make this blog entry.

I was so moved and caught off guard by the enormity and exactness of all that the museum is.

Walking through the Museum which is the BURIAL GROUND to many of the nearly 3000 lives lost.

You can't help but feel the LOSS as well as LIFE PRESENCE of all of the SOULS who began a new journey here at this site.

SACRED GROUND.

There were people of every color,language and nationality in NYC visting the Memorial.

The BEAUTY of the World was right in front of our eyes by witnessing what NYC and the World Trade Center stood for. NYC is a true MELTING POT.

 The tower now is know as THE FREEDOM TOWER.

Our visit brought me back as if the horrific event was yesterday, and it was 14 YEARS AGO.

What was yesterday was a
 REMINDER OF ALL OF THE PAIN AND SORROW THE WORLD FELT ON 9/11/2001 with yet another TERROIST ATTACK in PARIS FRANCE.

Once again we MOURN AS FELLOW HUMANS OF THE WORLD UNITED AS ONE.

Thank you Jason for sharing this trip with me. LOVE YOU BUD.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all of those in Paris France and around the World who are suffering and are caught in the line of fire from these cowards who are PURE EVIL.

Sending Love and Strength from the USA. WE FEEL YOUR PAIN.

LIGHT AND LOVE  TO US ALL. GOD BLESS

THE LOSS OF SUE

JUNE 25, 2015

MY HEART IS HEAVY.

Heaven just got much more beautiful with it's newest resident my friend Suzanne Ferrara.

The call that we were all dreading, but yet knew was eventually coming. Well it came today.

Sue had begun her brand new journey after what has been an 12 plus month struggle where Sue COURAGEOUSLY battled STAGE 4 LUNG CANCER.

I had the pleasure of visiting with Sue last year after she was newly diagnosed. Davelynn and I went to visit Sue in Atlanta at a clinic that she was attending thanks to friends who had organized a fundraiser to come together and help Sue fight this horrible disease.

While visiting last year we promised to visit again the following years knowing that the LOVE,SUPPORT & PRAYERS that were surrounding Sue would allow her to FIGHT the FIGHT.

THAT SHE DID.

I returned this year thirteen months after our first visit.

I was able to spend my birthday with my dear friend. I was blown away by Sue's Strength, Courage and will as she battled this illness.

We had three special days that I will cherish forever.  So happy I was able to make the return trip.

6 weeks later Sue's fight had come to an end.

Her family unselfishly shared Sue's journey with us all and we were all made better people beacause of it.

THANK YOU SCOTT,CARLY & VINCE.

6 days before Sue's passing she was admitted to the hospital and placed in hospice as it was determined the end of this journey was in the process.

Sue was able to SURRENDER & LET GO KNOWING & FEELING how very LOVED she was as her family allowed all of us to post messages on her facebook wall which they read to her.

LOVE LOVE LOVE....SURROUNDED BY LOVE.

What a blessing and a beautiful way to begin her new journey.

Sue, THANK YOU FOR YOU. THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME.

I will miss you my friend.

But I will be ok, because I know that you are ok.

THANK YOU FOR BEING A PART OF MY LIFE. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU.

FLY FREE. EMBRACE THIS WONDERFUL NEW JOURNEY THAT YOU ARE ON.

FUCK CANCER......EXPIRATION DATE. SAYS WHO.

WTF

Food, Vitamins, Products.

&

LIFE.

I just got to spend 3 days with my dear friend Sue. I have had the pleasure of calling Sue a friend for the past 33 years.

Sue has been faced with some MAJOR HEALTH CHALLENGES.

She has been diagnosed with Stage 4 LUNG CANCER.

She was given a certain TIME FRAME/EXPIRATION DATE. I am happy to report that she has long since passed that time.

So much for expiration dates.....We need to remember the medical industry works with statistics.
It is a guessing game. That is why it is called a PRACTICE.

Sue is truly an inspiration and a warrior.

She is fighting everyday to stay here with us here on Earth.

She is a FIGHTER. SO COURAGEOUS.

I said to Sue on our visit. That the only one who has the answer is GOD. He also has a PLAN.

I told her that we are all dying. Each breathe we take we are closer to death than we are to life.

She is surrounded by LOVE and SUPPORT.

PLEASE CONTINUE TO KEEP SUE IN YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AS SHE CONTINUES HER BATTLE.

Sue,

I LOVE YOU & I am  honored to call you a friend. Your BRAVERY & STRENGTH, INSPIRE & MOVE me.

KEEP, KEEPING ON.

GOD BLESS.....LIGHT AND LOVE.

THE FACE OF COURAGE .......TODAY

COURAGE.

THE FACE OF COURAGE.

What does it look like?

In the world today, it would look like BRUCE JENNER.

He is the face of the moment when we think of COURAGE.

After 65 years of living on the earth, he is finally after three wives, being the father to ten children, being an OLYMPIAN, being a SPOKESPERSON for Wheaties and being an EVERYMAN is being true to hmself and transitioning to a WOMAN.

WOW. I can not even begin to imagine after living his life in the SPOTLIGHT most of his life will now go through this very transition with ALL EYES WATCHING.

Such a private and personal matter for all the world to be witness to.

How unfortunate for he and his family.  At the same timethe attention he is bringing to the subject of TRANSGENDER has and will save countless LIVES.

Thank you Bruce.

Wishing you peace, light and love as you become true to you.

LESSON for all os US. We need to trust who we are and what we want out of life and be courageous enough to pursue and seek without being concerned with what others think about our decisions.

We have but ONE LIFE. We need to live our lives with HONESTY AND INTEGRITY & BE TRUE TO OURSELVES.