24

2/21/19

Makes 24.

24 years ago this week.

Specifically 2/21/95 God had a plan for you to depart on a very cold winter day to begin whatever comes next when one leaves their earthly form.

Losing you was devastating on the whole family. We loved you and wanted you to stay with us FOREVER.

Forever I have come to realize is for as long as a RELATIONSHIP or LIFE lasts.

Still to this day one of my favorite memories as difficult as it was to lose you. It was to be there with you as you made your transition.

One of the most beautiful things I have experienced and I will treasure that moment and be grateful until I am embark on my new journey whenever that time comes.

In death one can FIND BEAUTY.

Mom's house was filled with LOVE & FAMILY for three days as you were preparing to begin your NEW JOURNEY.

This month has been a month of LOSS.

Earlier this month while on a quick trip to LA.  I received the devastating news that a member  of the family decided to take his life.

Getting the news of Drews suicide was HEARTBREAKING.

The outpouring of love and support for Marisa in her time of unimaginable loss was a BEAUTIFUL yet very sad thing to be a part of and witness.

There really is truth to the saying "There is the family that we are BORN into and the family we CREATE.

The family of misfits that was CREATED from my time at Tom Bergin's and Los Angeles WAS & IS THE REAL DEAL.

These people are beautiful SOULS that have traveled along my journey with me. THANK YOU. Some are still with me on this journey and some no more.
But with age and time you come to realize that not everyone is meant to STAY.

Some are meant to COME & GO.

That is ok. Everyone that has been a part of my journey  I am grateful for all of you and every thing that I have experienced. GRATITUDE IS KEY.

I just read something on facebook. "Watching someone you love die is an image you NEVER forget."

This is something that I totally agree with.

Me getting to watch my grandmother die was SPECIAL & BEAUTIFUL.

My friends who witnessed their loved ones die and the circumstances that they died in NOT SO MUCH.  Although I do believe with time they will come to realize that being a part of the transition of their loved ones will be something they will come to CHERISH.

Death is something we will all experience when our time here is complete.

There is BEAUTY in death.
If you are a lover of nature to watch autumn turn to winter is a spectacular event to witness.


The end of one thing is the beginning of another. IN MY BELIEF.

The best piece of wisdom I can share with all of you including myself is that WE MUST LIVE OUR BEST LIVES. That is what we are meant to do.

For those no longer here, to honor their lives we need to LIVE FULL OUT.

I WISH ALL OF US LOVE & HEALING & KINDNESS AS WE CARRY ON.

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.

BUT WE HAVE THE POWER TO OVERCOME.

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. GO CREATE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY GRANDMOTHER WHO TOLD ME, "THE SUN DOES NOT SHINE EVERYDAY, BUT IT WILL COME OUT AGAIN."

WE NEED TO LOVE OURSELVES AND ONE ANOTHER. PEACE.

 BELIEVE AND TRUST.

REUNITED IN GRIEF

REUNITED IN GRIEF.

So I was just two weeks ago on an impromptu trip to LOS ANGELES.

Los Angeles has been my HOME for 23 consecutive years before I decided to exit in 2009 to embark on whatever was to be next.

JANUARY 28TH marked my 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY of stepping out from behind the bar at TOM BERGIN'S where I was a RESIDENT BARTENDER for almost 13 years.

The bar has since closed down. I thought it would be cool to fly out to LA and catch up with as many of my BERGIN'S FAMILY as possible during my trip.

Well I was REUNITED with FRIENDS & FAMILY, some who I have not seen since I left LA.

This reunion worked out  much different than I was hoping.

This reunion happened when I received a text at 6:22AM on 2/1/2019
"Words cannot express the sadness you have come home to. Call me when you get this."

Upon me waking up and seeing the text. I immediately phone my friend. I said to her, Who is dead?

Unfortunately I was correct in thinking someone had died. My friend delivered the news that our mutual friend decided that life was too much. Through his INCREDIBLE PAIN he reached out to friends and people were alarmed for his safety. After a FRANTIC SEARCH his partner and some friends found him. UNFORTUNATELY TOO LATE.

Our friend HUNG HIMSELF.

HANGING has become all too common. I have personally known 7 people in the last 18 plus months. Including my agent, and a childhood friend, whose son at 27 was battling ANXIETY & DEPRESSION.

I have also had 2 attempts with my sister.

MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES ARE REAL.  WE NEED TO TALK AND FEEL SAFE IN DOING SO.

Every family to some degree has these issues.  WE NEED TO LOOK FOR THE SIGNS.

A very SAD & TRAGIC time for OUR friends and family.  My heart breaks for his partner who he shared 22 plus years with. Me and my friends are very concerned for her as she mourns the loss of her SOULMATE.

She will now have to learn how to move on physically,spirtitually,financially and emotionally.
The road ahead of her is LONG.

PLEASE IF YOU ARE SUFFERING REACH OUT TO A FRIEND, FAMILY MEMBER, HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONAL, EVEN A STRANGER.

NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE 1-800-273-8255
24 HIURS A DAY/EVERYDAY

I wish her COMPLETE HEALING as she continues on her JOURNEY.  I know this will take time if not A LIFETIME.
I said to her if he was able to stay he would have.

DREW WAS LOVED BY MANY AND WILL SORELY BE MISSED BY MANY.
He was a FANTASTIC GUY and the LIFE OF THE PARTY who was always there to greet you with a HUG & HAPPY TO SEE YOU.

I have been in and out of LA over the past 10 years. But on my trips back they were always made better by seeing DREW &  MARISA.  LOVED DREW & LOVE YOU.

This weekend was a HORRIBLE WEEKEND. I am GRATEFUL I WAS IN TOWN AND WAS ABLE TO BE WITH EVERYONE DURING THIS TIME.  I LOVE YOU ALL. MY HEARTBREAKS FOR US ALL.

The very same weekend the SOAP OPERA WORLD lost one of their own when Kristoff St. John was found dead in his home on Sunday February 3, 2019 of a suspected suicide.  They say that Kristoff died of a broken heart never getting over the loss of his son who years earlier died of suicide.

I had the pleasure of meeting and working with Kristoff on my very first Soap Opera job.

HOPING BOTH DREW & KRISTOFF ARE ON A PAIN FREE NEW JOURNEY FILLED WITH PEACE & HAPPINESS. HOPING KRISTOFF IS REUNITED WITH HIS SON.

FLY FREE GUYS.